Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
