i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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