Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
he puts the penis in happiness.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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