You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
