do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
