i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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