His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
