I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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