one word: firstdatebathroomanal
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
His hands were made for my vagina.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Randomize
