6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
