We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
