I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize
