You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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