I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
We named our party play list daddy issues
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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