As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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