the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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