Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
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