when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
