ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
