I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
