So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
