chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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