Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
