This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
