I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
