Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I'm at about main and main street
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
