Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
