My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
