If that was your dad, he is hot
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
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