we're chasing vodka with high fives
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
