Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
