i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Randomize
