i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
