I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
