I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
