Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
FUCK WHALES
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
