the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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