guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
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