Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
