I must be too annoying 4 u.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
My dick has a subreddit
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
