the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
