i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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