i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
