The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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