Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
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