i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
