I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
