You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
