I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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