oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
People in love make me want to vomit
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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