Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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